Should i keep wrighting? (paragraph writen below)?

I'd work on it you kinda gave information away that could have been given later on you want the reader interested and giving something away too early will cause them to lose interest, but at the same time you have to keep it to where they want to keep reading through emotional writing so they can actually feel what the person in your book is feeling and they could connect with, but definitely work on it the chapter is way too short..